Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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