my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
