I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
