He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
