Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
