Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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