Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
