I want to make a zoo with you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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