My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
