Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
