I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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