You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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