i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
