Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
