I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
