This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
