he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
