I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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