Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize