I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My liver just had a heart attack.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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