But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He better not be in your backpack
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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