So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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