so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
