i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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