I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize