you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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