I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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