I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
