she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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