Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Randomize