I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
