im about as happy as oj after his trial
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
