So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
either way he was missing a nipple.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
