Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
