im drinking this country out of the recession.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
