We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
