my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
In America we eat man semen.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize