My brain says no but my pants say off.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
