Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
