redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize