I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
