Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
