My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She announced her abortion via fbk
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
