It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
