her vagine was all disorganized.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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