I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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