my mouth tastes like poor choices
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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