I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize