New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
