Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
