escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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