you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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