Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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