we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
