Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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