i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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