Will you blow on my dice?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
