mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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