look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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