I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
