Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
