You're so nebulous sometimes
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
third nipple confirmed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we're so committed to being not committed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize