Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
