well I can't set my house on fire every night
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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